Imaginary Scenes From 'Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier'
by LivinJgrl123
Summary: *a collection of drabbles* *movie-verse* *A/U* *WinterWidow* These are scenes I imagine happening in Captain America 2, mainly concerning Natasha Romanoff and James Barnes (The Black Widow and The Winter Soldier). *COMPLETE*
1. (1) An Explanation For The Attitude

A/N: This all takes place in the movie-verses, and I dedicate this collection to WinterWidow. . . most of it, anyway . What you don't recognize, I probably own it. I own the plot, any personally-created characters, ideas, plot lines, locations, objects, ect - everything else is Marvel's to deal with. I love WinterWidow. It's _in a sense _canon. Sort of. You would have to find the comic con video where a guy talks about it to another person (so descriptive, I know). There's about eight months between me and CA2: TWS being in theaters... so there's going to be a lot of time to write this ;D Well, cheers, yeah?

* * *

**Drabble 001:**

_An Explanation For The Attitude_

* * *

Steve is glaring across the table, with his arms crossed over his chest, at Natasha, who is sitting back in her chair, her face a mask of calmness, her own hands clasped together on the table as her eyes meet his, daring him to do something - to say anything.

"Steve, what is it?"

Her voice reflects her attitude; cool. Collected. _Calm_. She's so calm about this whole thing, now that they get to talk about _it _- now that Steve finally gets to ask his questions, because no one is (currently) trying to kill them and it's just them in the room. But Steve knows better than to believe she's _actually_ calm, collective, and cool about this. He remembers, quite _clearly_, how she reacted when he inquired about the relationship between her and the Winter Soldier - her and James.

She'd been frantic. She'd tried to hide it, but she'd _panicked_ - for a split second. It was so unlike Natasha, that if he hadn't been there to witness it himself after yelling at her, _"is it true?!" _twice, each shout louder than the last. And he remembers _vividly _that, in the single moment where she'd shown a weakness, a vulnerability she probably had kept to herself _forever_, she isn't one to show how she really feels. She pretends, he knows. He doesn't know everything, but he knows this isn't going to be a fun talk with her. But he has to know. He _has_ to.

It's _Bucky_, after all.

"I want to know why you never mentioned it - till then. When you did."

Natasha blinks, slowly, and he restrains himself from raising his voice at her. She's not going to answer him, not unless she has to, not unless she believes it's absolutely necessary for him to know why she did what she did, what she said when she said it.

"Natasha, tell me," he insists, and he sees her expression harden into one of defiance.

She _really_ isn't going to tell him.

That's okay.

He has more than enough time to get the answers he wants.

But he's not so sure that she'll give him them as easily as he hopes she will.


	2. (2) Visiting Memory Lane

**Drabble 002:**

_Visiting Memory Lane_

* * *

Natasha looks at Clint, her expression showing just how crestfallen she feels right now. He's sitting on the bed, in the infirmary on the Helicarrier, in their own little corner, separate the from the boisterous activity of the doctors and patients around them. The curtains are drawn, so they have their privacy, for the most part; they just have to remember to keep their voices down a bit, because no one - especially a SHIELD agent - likes to be eavesdropped on.

She's standing across from him, slouching against the wall. Her expression - usually one that's impassive, and unreadable - is dull, and it makes him feel like she needs to be cheered up a bit, but he doesn't know how to do that at this moment, with how she's feeling - with what she's decided to tell him.

"Nat," he says, gently, and her eyes snap to him, as if she's returning from going to down Memory Lane - something he _knows _she hates to do, because, in her mind, he knows that she's blocked off her own Memory Lane. She's put up barricades around it, she's obliterated with her mental defenses - and now, now he can tell she's created a tiny crack in the rubble surrounding the opening down the Lane, so she can wriggle through, and just stand at the beginning. Just so she can remember the small bits and pieces from before SHIELD, from after . . . after the Red Room.

She looks at him, patiently waiting for him to go on - because she knows he wants to say more. She knows him well enough to lock gazes with him, to let him know that she's rebuilt the walls around her Memory Lane, for the time being - just enough so she can't think about it till later.

"I . . . " he hesitates, something, as a SHIELD agent, he rarely ever does, but he has to be extremely cautious with his words, and then he _realizes _something.

He realizes that he can't really say anything without upsetting her, even though she won't show a thing, because one mention of a minuscule, seemingly irrelevant detail could bring up a whole set of other _details_ that his partner wouldn't want to reflect on - not now, not ever.

He presses his lips together, and briefly, silently, thanks whatever luck he has that Natasha is keeping silent, that she's not rushing him to say anything, that she _trusts_ him enough to speak about something that won't bring up old, lingering feelings - the ghosts of guilt, and pain, and doubt, that the Red Room has brought upon her psyche since she deflected from Russia and chose to take the chance Clint had offered her.

So he merely stands, her eyes running over once, noting the little flecks of dirt, grime, and blood on her body - making careful mental notes about any injuries she trusts her body to heal on her own. He pulls the curtain aside, and she quirks an eyebrow at him as they are exposed to the other people, the other SHIELD employees, and her expression is suddenly changed into one of calm, cool collectiveness that he can (sort of) see through.

"Do you want to see him?"

The look on her face softens, and Clint knows that he'd chosen the right thing to say. "Maybe tomorrow," she tells him. Her tone tells him how exhausted she is, from the battle, from the adventure she's had with Cap - from everything, and so he grins at her.

"Well, how about we grab some Thai food. I can pay, if you want."

A tiny quirk of her lips tells him she knows that he's just trying to be a suck-up so he can pick the next place they eat, without her being able to argue.

But Natasha nods, curtly, and pushes herself off the wall, and heads towards the opening between the curtains he's made for her. "Sure," she says, and smirks at him as she walks by, and he quickly falls into step behind her.

He can't see her face, though. He doesn't know that, while she walks, she's also still standing at the beginning of her Memory Lane. He can't know. If he did, he would see the ghosts of - of her past, of _everything_ - on her face because he knows her too well.

So she keeps her back to him as she struggles to escape Memory Lane. But it's hard. It's harder than she remembered it being when she first did it - when she'd first laid eyes on the Winter Soldier himself.


	3. (3) Do You Remember Me

**Drabble 003:**

_Do You Remember Me_

* * *

Natasha has been avoiding this since the Winter Soldier had been captured alive by SHIELD, and brought on to the Helicarrier. She's been avoiding this since Steve told her he'd give her space, since Clint said she _had_ to speak to the assassin, since Fury had _ordered_ her to communicate with the Soviet assassin, who still doesn't remember who he once was.

But now she's here, not by her own choice, of course. Fury dragged her here, only two days since the battle between the Soviet assassin and Cap - between the two once-upon-a-time best friends. She's here, standing in front of a cell, a lot like the one SHIELD had designed for Banner, except this is standard, in the detention center of the Helicarrier - the temporary one, of course - and she's not glad, though, that she can see him clearly through the spotless glass. He's stand out, against the stark white of the cell walls. She's alone, standing on the other side of the glass, with no one else around. He's the only one in a cell; everyone else was moved to more permanent locations under immediate, urgent orders from Fury.

It's just the two of them, here, with him standing against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, and her, standing as stiff as a board in the dimly lit hall. The silence is deafening, and it's getting to her, like it _shouldn't_ get to someone who's been trained to deal with almost every single situation with a calm, cool attitude that betrays nothing to the outside world.

But it's getting to her alright, and the look on his face is a look she's mastered, and one she can't manage to mold her facial features into at the moment. It's too painful. It's too hard. So she doesn't. She just glares-and-kind-of-stares at him, not really sure what she's supposed to _do_.

He's out of his Winter Soldier suit, and in place are simple civilian clothes that she's only seen on him a handful of times. He hasn't changed much, not since she saw him last, and she knows that there's no use even _pretending _to be okay with - with _this, _with everything.

He has spoken yet. He's just keeping his eyes on her. Every so often, those cold, calculating orbs of his trail up and down her body, as if he's studying _every fucking detail _that's changed about her - inside and outside her body, her head, her _mind_.

Natasha knows he's not going to speak first. He wouldn't, not ever, so she does, wishing that, for a split second, that she _hadn't_ allowed Fury to drag her back down here after such a short amount of time.

Opening her mouth, she waits for her mind to conjure up something clever, something Agent Natasha Romanoff would say, but nothing comes out. And this scares her, because she doesn't remember freezing up on the spot - not because of _anything_. She doesn't remember hesitating; she doesn't think she hasn't known the right thing to say since she was a very, very small child.

James watches her mouth move, in a frantic effort to say _something_, while no sound comes about, and something in his expression changes. If she didn't know him so well, she would not have seen it - but she does, and it makes her swallow, thickly, before asking a question that she probably shouldn't ask. But she doesn't care for any rules today. Not about what she can say. Not now.

"Do you remember me?"

It's a question Natalia Romanova would have asked, and she hates herself for being who she once was - that tiny little girl, without training, without any sense of the dangers in the world, without any kind of sense of caution, without any sense of remorse or guilt or _fear_ from her past actions, from the Red Room, when speaking to someone, and she recovers herself - she recovers Natasha quickly, and fits right back into the skin of the person she became when she started working for SHIELD.

It's a stupid question, but the man answers her anyway. He answers, calmly.

"I do."

She nods. She finds that she's glad.

If he forgot Steve, he could still forget her, and for some reason, as the only person who _really_ knew her - more than Clint did - she was glad he hadn't.

"So it's Romanoff, now?"

She tilts her head to the side.

"What made you change?"

She's not the same person she used to be. He knows that. He can see it. But she can't tell if he's okay with that, not yet anyway.

Natasha doesn't answer him. Her throat has suddenly refused to cooperate, and she knows that she's not supposed to _feel_ this way, not supposed to _show_ any weakness, not supposed to _have_ any.

But she does have a weakness. And it does show. In the slight widening of her eyes. In the whitening of her lips from the effort of pressing them together. In the way she steps back from the cell, and turns on her heel, and leaves him, staring after her.

She's not ready to face him.

Not yet.


	4. (4) Compromised By The Heart

**Drabble 004:**

_Compromised By The Heart_

* * *

Watching James being dragged off by SHIELD agents does something to Natasha, as Steve stands next to her, shaking slightly from the exertion of the fight. She remembers, at, one time, she would have run off and killed anyone who had ever _dared_ to apprehend him and successfully render him useless to himself while his enemies advanced upon him.

But she stays put, and watches, like a hawk, as he is dragged towards the barricade of SHIELD agents, who all have their weapons trained on him. If she had still been in Russia, if she had still been working for the Russians, if she had still been _working with the Winter Soldier_, she would have killed everyone without a single thought, because she's never seen him so _helpless_ against his adversaries before.

His eyes are on her, before he disappears into the crowd of agents, with Fury among them somewhere, and she struggles, just for a moment, with the person she used to be, the person she buried long ago, after she was given her second chance.

She as to make herself believe that the relationship they'd had together, seemingly _so long ago_, means nothing to her now. It _can't_ mean anything; if it does, that means she's compromised. And she can't be compromised. Not today. Not _now_. Not _here_. Not when Steve is standing by her side, looking defeated, looking like he'd _lost_ the battle between him and James._  
_

It's probably because James still doesn't remember him. It makes Natasha's heart do a funny, painful little thing, like someone's yanked open her rib cage and gotten a hold of her beating heart, if only for a second. He doesn't remember his best friend from the Second World War, but he remembers her. And she knows she saw a look of betrayal flash in his eyes before his expression had hardened into something much, _much_ more alarming as he'd disappeared into the sea of SHIELD's top agents.

Hopefully, he'll see - one day - that she's changed, for good. She hopes for this. And at the same time, she knows - she _knows_ - that hoping for anything isn't what she's supposed to be doing.

But she can't help it.

She's been compromised, and _no one_ can find out - no matter what.

They _can't._


	5. (5) Forced To Cooperate

**Drabble 005:**

_Forced To Cooperate_

* * *

Rehabilitating the Winter Soldier, as Fury so _kindly _puts it when he's in a good mood, is not an easy task. For months, it's only proved to be something difficult, even though he's made _some_ improvement. He hasn't tried to kill anyone since his second night aboard the Helicarrier.

Not because James isn't willing to cooperate with SHIELD and work for them. No, that's not really it at all. No, it's probably because he hasn't been allowed to see Natasha since he'd lost against Steve - whom he still doesn't remember.

He's been following orders, sort of (sometimes) and Natasha gets updates from him via the other Avengers, who train with him, who go on simple, easy missions that a _child_ could honestly and easily accomplish, if raised by SHIELD to be trained in the field. According to Clint, though, the man is difficult to work with when on these easy, simple missions. He doesn't play well with the other Avengers, and Clint says he knows why. After every mission, he finds Tasha, and tells her that he _knows_ it's because Fury has ordered that Natasha stay away from James, at all costs - till he cooperates, at least, and it's frustrating, because, even though he doesn't trust the man at all, and even though his partner had a past relationship with him (and is obviously still affected by something involving him and things long since lost in the past), he wants to be able to get out of a situation unscathed when there's hardly supposed to be a situation in the first place.

After six months, Tony goes up to Fury, one night, and _demands_ that the Black Widow is allowed to see the man Steve still calls Bucky, only when he's not listening (whom she has always known as a ruthless, Soviet-employed assassin) for at least _ten seconds _so he doesn't have to deal with Pepper fussing over the cuts and bruises he receives because of partially botched missions, no thanks to James.

Fury denies this demand of Tony's, and tells him off, because the unlike Natasha, the Winter Soldier was not taking the chance he had been given easily. He's taken it, but he's a challenge - one that SHIELD doesn't want to deal with, and, at the same time, a challenge that they don't want to have to be up against when it comes to choosing a side on a battlefield.

Banner, a week later, insists, with all the Avengers present - excluding Barnes, who isn't an Avenger, but including Natasha, because said assassin is absent from the room - that this is retaliation, against SHIELD. He tells Natasha that she needs to see him, regardless of her orders, and she doesn't listen, because she's been _compromised_, and she's kind of glad she hasn't spoken to him yet.

She will, though. Either Clint will talk her into it tonight, or Fury will get so sick of James' sometimes-dangerous rebellions during missions.

She _will_. It's only a matter of time before she eventually finds a way to force James to cooperate - whether he wants to or not, because, honestly, he probably doesn't trust her since she's changed, since she's deflected, but he'll listen to her.

Even if it's only for a moment.


	6. (6) Eavesdropping On The Forgotten Past

**Drabble 006:**

_Eavesdropping On The Forgotten Past_

* * *

Natasha half-listens to Cap talk about one of the days in his youth, before he'd been turned into Captain America - back when he was just a boy with a heart that beat for the chance to fight for this country, like everyone else, when he actually couldn't. He's talking about the time before James - he keeps calling him _Bucky_, like he always has - took him on a double date, which would lead him to a German scientist who had fled his country in favor of coming to America. He's telling Banner, Stark, and Clint about the time where James - _Bucky _- saved his ass _yet again_ because he'd been stupid enough to stand up to a bully in a movie theater. His voice has grown fond, a tad bit bitter, and a little more sad. This combination becomes more evident as he goes further and further back into his childhood, about all the good - and bad times - with Bucky.

He doesn't know that the Winter Soldier himself is standing in the doorway, unnoticed by everyone, except Natasha - because how can she _not_ notice him? - without his usual Soviet-provided suit on. He's watching and listening intently as Steve goes on and on, as Steve laughs occasionally, as he stares off for a few seconds, going down his own Memory Lane, as he proceeds to come up with an endless bunch of stories that have his listeners laughing and growing somber as he talks and talks and talks.

Natasha has said nothing, though. Her eyes slide back to the doorway to the living room in Stark Tower, and isn't surprised to find it empty. She's probably the only one who knows that the man actually would _like _to remember the person he used to be, but since he's obviously noticed that _she_ has forgotten who she once was - the person he knew better than the person he knows now - he's not saying anything about it.

Maybe someday he'll remember, she thinks, her eyes darting back to Steve. He's talking, very animatedly, about a holiday break, when Bucky - _James _- spent it during one of this earlier years in elementary at his house. She allows her lips to quirk upwards at the mention of the two of them accidentally setting the Christmas tree on fire, but managing to save their presents.

_Someday_, James might remember Bucky Barnes. But for now, he's stuck. Stuck as the Winter Soldier.

And even she can't do anything about it.


	7. (7) Meeting The Youngest Agents

**Drabble 007:**

_Meeting The Youngest Agents_

* * *

Sometimes, when things are slow in the world, and it doesn't need saving - very rarely, the Avengers have learned since New York - Fury gives them missions that aren't _really_ missions, simply for the hell of it. Stark and Banner usually get out of it (and somehow drag Steve with them whenever they do), and so does Thor, because he's in Asgard more often than not. Clint hides away in the training rooms, but, for some reason, before she can join the archer for a sparring match, Fury manages to find her, one early, snowy morning, and asks her to watch over the youngest agents of SHIELD for a bit - just to see if they're not being a bunch of sarcastic shitheads, like they usually are.

Natasha decides that she might as well agree, so she does, and soon, she's running down two flights of stairs on the Helicarrier, easily slipping past agents that anyone else might have bumped into in their hurry to get down the stairs.

But, somehow, she manages to run into James, and when she does, she ends up with an aching head and him - well, he's rubbing his head, too, and he's giving the redhead a curious look.

"Natalia?"

She nearly winces at the use of the name. _No one_ has called her that - not since Clint spared her life, not since that second chance had been so graciously offered to it, not since she'd _taken _that chance. But he's still calling her that, because, that's still her name. In a way; everyone knows her as Natasha, not Natalia, and it makes her heart ache, and, for one of the first and only times in her career as an assassin, she fails to school her expression into something impassive and unfeeling. She can't do that. She needs to prepare herself if she _knows_ she's going to run into the Winter Soldier _anywhere_.

She nods at him. "James." Her voice is a bit wobbly.

God, it's like she's a child again!

"Where are you going?" He's talking to her in Russian now, like he always does, even when someone else around them can understand what he's saying, but it's for her, because he knows he's not _really_ Russian - but it's for _her_, because _she_ is.

She answers him in English, but she hesitates, wondering how much trouble she'll get in if she goes through with what she's about to - well, go through with. "Do you want to come with me?" she asks him, in reply, and he's cocked an eyebrow at her now.

"Come on," she cuts past him, down the hallway, skillfully maneuvering herself through the hallway and around its occupants till she finds the door she's looking for. She turns her head only once to see that James is still there, standing next to her, waiting patiently, before she opens the door and steps inside.

It's kind of like a junior high or high school classroom. There are desks, plastic chairs, textbooks - but they're not learning about anything any normal person would learn about in a public school. No, there are diagrams of weapons on the blackboards - diagrams of maps and escape routes and weapons and tips and rules, but none of the kids are sitting, facing the front of the room.

Instead, a young American girl is making her way towards Natasha, grinning like she's done something bad, and out of the corner of her eye, she can see Jame's thinly-veiled surprise on his face, and she smiles - just a tiny bit - at that.

"Romanoff!" the girl cheers. The rest of her classmates are in the back of the room, on their little electronic communicators. She's guessing that they just got those today, that they're learning about communication for future missions from the guest teacher, who's Agent Hill today (who is being bombarded with questions, as it seems).

Natasha smiles down at the girl. She thinks that she's twelve, and a future hacker, too. Not really a field agent, but Natasha can already see her doing great things like hack into the Pentagon in less than six months (she's learning stuff on her own, too).

"How are things?" the girl asks, her eyes bright, her expression curious.

Natasha shrugs, and opens her mouth to reply, but then the girl's attention snaps to James, who is giving the entire room and its current situation an odd look. "James," she says gently, and he looks at her, still giving her that questioning look, "these are the future agents of SHIELD."

This class was full of kids from ages twelve to fifteen. They all looked like a mix of field agents, computer hackers and programmers - and warriors, to be frank, with how they were waving the class models of the guns around.

James is probably comparing this to the Red Room right now. He's probably taking in every detail, and comparing it to what the girls in Russia had to go through. He's probably noticed that this kind of thing _never _happened it the Red Room. There was no socializing. There was only training. And that was that.

"Are you going to do a demonstration today? Preferably with hand-to-hand combat?" the girl asks Natasha, her eyes still flickering over to James - quite suspiciously, actually, which is very amusing - before glancing over her shoulder, at Agent Hill, who looks about done with this group of SHIELD agents.

"I might be."

The girl grins, turns around, and heads back to her group, while Natasha turns to James.

"What do you say?" she asks, and his eyebrows go up a bit. "Want to do a demonstration?"

"Sure," he says slowly, looking like he really doesn't, but she doesn't give him a chance to change him mind. She was ordered to do this, and so she's going to drag him into it, too. She grabs his arm and yanks him out of the doorway into the room to demonstrate to the class.

He's scowling in a very-James-way at the back of her head.

She knows. And she laughs at it.


	8. (8) Just A Typical Nightmare

**Drabble 008:**

_Just A Typical Nightmare_

* * *

James remembers that Natalia - _Natasha, _he has to remember to call her _Natasha_, because that's her name now - never really had nightmares. She rarely ever dreamt, is what she always told him - and when she would lie still next to him, when it was his turn to take watch on a mission where they had to take turns making sure the target in Moscow didn't get away from them. She's never dreamed, he's checked, so when he's sent on a mission - with just her and Clint, only days after Fury had ordered that the responsibility of his _rehabilition into SHIELD _be placed in Natalia's - _Natasha's_ - hands, and he and Clint are on watch duty while she sleeps, he's surprised to see her flinch every so often. He doesn't say anything about it, though Clint notices this immediately.

"Bad dreams," James looks up at speaker of the muttered words, and sees that Clint has a pained look on his face, like he knows exactly how his partner feels. He looks back up at the Winter Soldier, who is still giving him a questioning look, and all he says is, "it's the guilt."

When he gets no reply, he mutters something under his breath, too quiet for even James to catch it, before his eyes go back to the street they're supposed to be watching. James' eyes flicker from the doorway of the theater they're supposed to be watching, for their asshole of a target to come stumbling out in all his (supposed) drunken glory, to Natasha (_Natalia_) every so often.

Though their relationship wasn't the greatest, or the most stable, something inside of him flinches whenever her facial muscles twitch. From the way Clint is handling this, and their mission, so easily, it appears that this is typical - this is a typical nightmare. It's hard to believe, but then again, things have changed since the Red Room.

He can see it now.


	9. (9) Hoping Might Not Do You Good

**Drabble 009:**

_Hoping Might Not Do You Good_

* * *

It's nearly been a year, since they defeated the Winter Soldier - but he still doesn't remember who he is. In fact, he's almost exactly the same as he was when Steve managed to fight and win against him. Natasha doesn't really want to be around him, not really - if she thinks honestly, she'll find that she wants him to remember, because she sees the way Steve gets when he thinks no one is looking. Some days, when it's just the two of them on missions, he tells her more stories about Bucky - about their childhood together, before he became someone else, before he became the stranger he doesn't want to familiarize himself with.

She doesn't blame him at all. But she's never known Steve's version of James Buchanan Barnes - she's only known the ruthless assassin whom she'd had a relationship, back before Barton'd found her, back before SHIELD - back before she'd bothered to feel any _guilt_.

It's been nearly a year, and, after hearing countless stories about Bucky and Steve and their childhood - one that she _knows_ James wishes that he remembers with every fiber of his being - she finds that she'd like to meet the man he was before. Before the Soviets. Before the Winter Soldier, before the man she knows now. But she never says anything about it. She just sits and listens to Steve talk, about his past, about everything that he doesn't like to remember because it remind him that he had been _ripped_ out of his own time and yanked into this.

James is always eavesdropping, though Cap never notices. He never notices that James actually wants to remember. As a silent favor, she doesn't tell him, because that would just make everything worse.

So far, they can't help him remember. They don't even know if it's possible anymore, to find a way for him to _remember_.

Steve won't give up.

Not on Bucky.

No, he won't - not for even a second.


	10. (10) Feelings

**Drabble 010:**

_Feelings_

* * *

"James."

The soldier looks up, from whatever stack of paper Fury's given him that he has in his hands. He meets Natasha's eyes, and she sees something flicker, for a brief moment within them, before they go flat. Unfeeling. He was acting just like the man she knew him to be.

"Yeah, Nat?"

The nickname - it's an old one. One that he'll probably never stop calling her, and she _knows_ this, but she can't help but feel a twinge of something - deep, deep down, in the place where she swore that she'd keep everything that was toxic to her profession and everything she still didn't know how to deal with. Even things have been shoved down for years.

Outwardly, she shows no sign of being affected by the nickname. But he knows her - he knows her, despite the fact that, before his unexpected appearance in SHIELD's existence, he hasn't seen her since - well, way before Clint found her. Years beforehand, perhaps (she tries not to think of the past, so it really is just a blur when she's not really focusing on it).

Inwardly, though - it stings a bit, and he seems to _know it_, and it makes her feel something she hasn't in a _long_ while. So long, in fact, that she can feel her expression harden into a mask - a mask that he taught her how to make, how to perfect, how to even make it (almost) impossible for _him_ to read her. _  
_

She says nothing, and turns away - because suddenly, she doesn't want to tell him that Fury wants them to go on a mission.

Together.

_Alone_ together.

And she's about to leave, when it occurs to her that _that_ is something that she's not (professionally speaking) supposed to do - but these feelings of hers, these feelings that she still shares with James, even if he doesn't know it, they're - they're not -

- _there not supposed to exist._

Natasha was raised to be an assassin. To be someone who killed. Without guilt. Without remorse. She had been raised to be a _tool_, a device to which the Red Room could use her to kill someone, without complaint, without hesitation. She was supposed to have little to know feelings - like the ones she's been avoiding since James was first taken in by the SHIELD agents, dragged away from the ruins of D.C.

But these feelings - these complicated feelings?

They're still _here_, deep inside - and it's getting harder and harder to bury them. To the point where it's starting to _hurt_.

And she's about to leave -

but she doesn't.

She _can't._

* * *

_**A/N: I had no intention for this to be so story like, to end up like it has (but I'm not regretting it because WinterWidow/Bucktasha is my OTP). I didn't at all. But I think I'll end this, because it IS so story like, and start a collection that actually HAS separate drabbles. Thanks for readings - and cheers, yeah?**_


End file.
